2009 has been, by far, one of the busiest, craziest, awesomest and best years of my short existence! Reflecting to this time last year, everything seems so much more stable and much more exciting. I have a much clearer perspective on reality and know what I want from myself and my future (near and far). I know what I am capable of and what I need to do and have in my life to make me happiest. I've grown this year; become more of a person I'm content to be. I've realized and seen my faults, dealt with my insecurities as best I could, and coped with the folly of others and myself. Most importantly, I've learned to laugh at myself and at others; to not let their mistakes be my mistakes; and to just breathe and let things go, I can't win every time.
That being said, I've made a lot of personal choices this year. I chose to let a lot of "friends" go, while still strengthening my relationship with others to the point of calling them my sisters. We have each other's backs, and for the first time ever I feel as though I have gained something more from these silly, relentless, understanding, fantastic girls: Loyalty. A whole new concept to me, I've never had much luck when it came to obtaining and keeping acquaintences with other females. We've just never gotten on or liked one another. Yet with these 3, the laughs never end, the trust never waivers, and there's always someone there to pick up the other end of the line when your hearts gets broken, or you're so excited they can't understand a word coming out of your mouth, or you just need to vent and bitch about the unfairness of life. There's always time for a margarita and sushi with these ladies, and I adore each of them with all of my heart.
As to the ones I dropped all ties with, I'm better off. I'm a happier person without them, and life has become much easier since all connections were lost. Do I regret my decisions to forgoe any further attempts at a friendship? No. Am I sorry for the way things ended? Of course. It's always sad to lose someone you once confided in and hung out with and made weekend plans with. It's a bummer that things don't work out, but for the most part the friendship was in vain, or entirely one sided. I don't see much point in wasting time on someone who only thinks of themself, or speaks only of their own problems incessantly and never once in 2 years stopped to ask how you were. And to place the blame of the ending of the friendship on someone else is juvenile and, to be perfectly honest, hypocritical. I made the choice to discontinue it, not someone else. As to my spending more time with that someone else, that was also my choice, but nothing unlike what that "friend" had done previously. And the others I cut ties with, those too were my decisions and ones I don't regret either. More juvenile, high school melodrama to be avoided in the future.
I also stumbled into one of the best things that has ever happened to me (as cheesy as that sounds): I started dating this terrific guy who gave me space and time, "got" my awkwardness, and makes me exceedingly estatic. I'll refrain from all the barf-worthy giggliness of finding someone whom I care about much and love. I will say this: He brought me back from the dead. Other than my bestest best friends, this guy slowly revived me by making me feel again, and alleviated the majority of the bitterness that comes from loss and grief in a way that no one else ever could. He makes me laugh like no one else can, listens to my nerdy ramblings about books/school/music/movies, pays for my Taco Bell (and other food, naturally), and just "gets" my personality. Within 6 short, yet glorious months, I went from completely unsure about this guy to not being able to live without him. I depend on him in so many, mostly emotional, ways and he takes care of me. I look forward to spending 2010 with him.
I accomplished a lot academically this year as well: Finally found a subject I'm not only interested in, but passionate about (as well as excelling in, but I don't mean to brag. :) ). I found my calling in art history. It all makes perfect sense now. I've always had a geeky fondness and interest in history, while at the same time finding myself drawn to art and the artists themselves. Bingo! This is why I go to college....
I listened to a lot of awesome new tunes, while also having a soft spot for my old favorites as well. 2008 was more of my year for music, however. I can only recall being obsessed with 3 or 4 albums this year. Those being (off the top of my head): Lily Allen - It's Not Me, It's You, Mandy Moore - Amanda Leigh, The New Moon Soundtrack, Franz Ferdinand - (I can't even recall the official title of this album, but it stayed in my car for weeks) Tonight, and the Jonas Brothers - Lines, Vines, and Trying Times (yes, I added the beloved teen-y JoBros to my top albums. Again, it was a slow year for music for me.).
I was more into movie going and watching than anything else this year, and with my new beau it was like the cinema employees knew us on a first name basis. In total, I went and saw around 26 movies. The most I've ever gone to the movies in one year, believe me! There were the ones I couldn't wait for (New Moon, Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes, Time Traveler's Wife, etc), and the ones I could've waited to come out to DVD (9, Funny People, The Ugly Truth, Wolverine, 17 Again). But all in all, I think I am well equipped for the forthcoming 2010 Oscar's!
I was also very preoccupied with reading. I had set the goal of reading 30 books in one year for myself, and I achieved it (though admittedly I counted books I had to read for classes into the final total [not textbooks, just regular books, like Shakespeare or the resources I used for the Mesoamerica/Andean art history paper I never wrote]). Books that blew my mind: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, The Lovely Bones, Sense and Sensibility, The Duchess, The Sound of My Voice, Frankenstein, Revolutionary Road, The Doctor's Wife, Handle with Care, and all the new Shakespeare I read. Books I could've lived without: Fight Club, Julie and Julia, Slaughterhouse Five, and the chick-lit I allowed myself to read.
Overall, 2009 was an amazing year and many vacations and trips were made. May I went to Vegas, June to Bodega Bay, July to Tahoe and to the bay area for No Doubt, and August brought another trip to Bodega Bay.
I have much to be thankful for, and even more to look forward to in 2010. I've set for myself the goal of reading 40 books, which should be interesting/relaxing/enlightening since the majority of the books have been sitting on my shelf for years. The ones I most look forward to: The Year of Magical Thinking, the Dark Tower series, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, Anna Karenina, Wuthering Heights, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and much, much more! I'm also excited for the new albums coming out (Motion City Soundtrack's My Dinosaur Life and She & Him's Volume Two, just to name 2). Not to mention movies (part 1 of the final Harry Potter film, Eclipse, etc).
And of course, more awesome hangs with the best friends anyone could ask for, more trips and shananigans, and more growth and discovery.
I can't wait!
