I've got a secret I've been dying to leak, oh it's a killer to keep;

I fell asleep last night reading Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughter House Five. Lesson learned? Don't do this again. I had, by far, themost bizarre dream(s). Since I'm only 100 pages in so far, there's been a lot of repition of Pall Malls and time, so naturally my dream consisted of these. I dreamt that I repeatedly woke myself up for a ciggarette, and every time I tried to check the time I couldn't read the numbers on my digital alarm clock, so I walked to my TV and checked the time on the cable box (ours automatically display the time, a good/bad thing). The digits there were also distorted and unreadble. Yeah, weird. And having dreams about waking up off and on and then actually doing so at the end of each continued part was exhausting.

And then to add to it, I had watched Pineapple Express (what was the big deal about this movie?) earlier and somehow that had been in my dream. As well as my nonfunctional (at the time) Ipod (I just got it working again). It was a restless dream.

So, here's where I vent some stress. It was brought to my attention Thursday that I've been really negative and testy and irritable lately. I bit off way more than I can chew this semester, as well as getting more hours than I can (barely) handle at work. I don't have the time on my hands to just do nothing like I used to. I'm always reading for classes, working on various homework assignments, working, or attempting to sleep. That's just my social/public stress.

Personally, my mom and I are on the very serious verge of losing our house. I came home Wednesday to find a notice taped to our front door stating that they were going to publicly auction our house on February 24. Um, yeah, that could definitely have something to do with my "impatience" and "crankiness" Thursday. We've been working on lowering the mortgage and adjusting the interest rate for months, and I was assured by my mother (who was assured by the person helping us) that it was all taken care of. Apprently not since the loan agency can still do this to us while we're in litigation. What the fuck.

And my pity post on Tuesday has a bit to do with my recent negativity. I haven't talked to M in over a week (maybe I should post an explanation of mine and M's friendship) because of what was written in that post. It got me down big time and he disagreed with it all, yet he doesn't see it the way I do. And then there's my building credit card debt I haven't paid since. . . July. Shameful.

I'm freaking out right now. I can't ignore it or shrug it off like i have been doing. Yes, I am sweating the small stuff big time.